Papi is number 1!

Dear Chicken Nugget and Garbanzo Bean,

First, let me start by explaining to the little one yet to be named that your mami and I tried a number of different things to call you. We settled on Care Bear because, well, mami loves Care Bears.

But, the other day, Nugget, who has been calling you "the baby" this whole time, called you "Garbanzo Bean" and that I like much better.

So, why is Papi writing about being number 1? Because today, I was!

As you'll come to learn, Papi and Mami like to do crazy athletic things like race each other in triathlons, swim in the early morning, run long distances before the sun comes up, and do yoga in 100+ degree rooms. However, we don't usually win things. We may compete against each other and win bragging rights but we don't win actual races against other people. Most of the time.

Back in 2005 I had signed up a friend for a Spring Couples Relay. It consisted of a Run, Bike, and Row. My friend dropped out at the last minute and I recruited a running club teammate as a substitute. We didn't think we had done that well, our rowing was a zig-zag across a Central Park lake, but as we walked away from the finish we heard our team name being called. Apparently we had come in Third Place in our Combined Age Group, 36-50. I had never won something so that little plaque meant a lot.

Nothing ever came close to that until last year. Your Uncle Bob, your Mami, and I signed up for a Scavenger Hunt race called the Challenge Nation. It was built so that at its most efficient, you ran a 5k. We had to run around New York City, finding clues, taking pictures, and getting strangers to do random things. When we made the final dash to the finish we were surprised to find that no one was there yet. The race officials looked up and told us we were the first group to finish. After a review of our pictures and time, we were awarded $100 each. First place at a race.

Then, today happened. As I train for a half-marathon in September, I realized last week that I was due to run a 5k race to test my legs. I found a small 5k at the last minute and signed up. There were 150 runners, small by NYC standards and race officials announced prizes for lots of age groups. As I eyed my fellow runners I estimated that a good number of them fell into my age group, 26-35.

The race took place in Van Cortland Park in the Bronx, on my favorite route in the city, a cross-country run through wooded trails. It's very hilly so I had wanted to start slow. As the horn went off I found myself in the lead pack, going faster than I wanted. However, I had spent the previous week running through hills in Missouri with your Uncle Jerry, during a week-long family reunion, so I thought I might be able to stay strong through the hills. And, I did!

I passed three runners in the lead group and maintained my distance from them. I didn't win the race but was pleasantly surprised to hear "Christian Ledesma" announced as the 1st place age group finisher, ages 26-35. As I was handed the medal, I felt that this was a good sign of things to come.

Like I said, our race history accomplishments don't usually extend beyond finishing a race so when we do win something, we celebrate.

Today, your Papi was number 1. I've carried my medal around all day long and, Nugget, you even wore it for a while.

The race was small but I worked hard for my medal. There's a lesson in there somewhere: probably that if you want to win races you have to find small races no one knows about...

Love you both,

Tu Papi
 

You're going to be a big brother!

Dear Chicken Nugget,

The more active and talkative you've become, the less I feel the need to write to you. I can now talk to you and, for the most part, it seems your understand. Thought sometimes you prefer to show me a cool dance move instead of listening to papi's serious attempt at conversation.

Still, this is pretty important.

You're going to be a big brother!

Photo courtesy of Anthony M Trujillo photography

Our family of three will be a family of four this November. And, while your mami and I can't wait to meet the new baby, we also are cherishing every minute we have with you as our baby.

In a few months you will experience something I never did, having to share the attention of your family. It's going to be hard and, to be honest, mami and I have our concerns but we also know that you will grow into it and that you're going to be a pretty great big brother.

In the morning when you wake up, you've been rolling over to mami and kissing her belly, saying hello to the baby. And, you've been saying things like, "When the baby come out I will teach it about papi's school." Overall, it seems, you're getting as excited as we are.

There's much work to be done. There's lots of one-on-one time to be spent and some cleaning and rearranging that I'm sure mami wants to get done. But, it will.

For now, we wait patiently and enjoy our first baby as much as we can. Even when we call you a big boy and even when you act like one, you will always be our baby and we will always love you as much as we did when we first met you.

Te quiero siempre,

Papi

sharing

Dear Nugget,

A few years ago I went to dinner at an Indian restaurant with a friend of mine. We each ordered our own dish and when the food arrived, as the waiter placed the dishes in the middle of the table, I reached out to bring my plate closer.

The waiter gently pulled the plate back to the middle and said, "Sir, we share here."

We all laughed. My friend laughed especially hard because she knew that I don't like to share my food.

I don't know what it is, I never went without food, I didn't have siblings to fight over food with. I simply like to eat my own food and not give it away. I also don't need to taste someone else's dish. We each have our own and that's that.

Your mom likes to share and surely she's managed to sneak a bite or two of my food. She usually uses lines like, "Hey, you wanna try some of mine?" Which forces me to be nice and reciprocate. Or she'll say, "Your food looks goooood. You always order better than me." Sigh.

So, now there's three of us and you are communicating and that means... being forced to share. Sometimes I'll go grab a snack and, suddenly, there you are giving me the food sign. Depending on how hungry you are or how tasty my snack is we share anything from one bite to 50% of a dish.

You're also really good at making sure others get to taste something. Yesterday your mom washed some strawberries and sat down on the floor to share with you (she's good at sharing) and you took one for yourself and brought another one to me, unprompted, it's just what you do. You definitely got that from your mom, the sharing gene.

Even at bedtime, when your mom says to give me a kiss good night, you'll give me a kiss and then you'll point back to her and say, "mama papa" - meaning, now mami kisses papi.

I'm definitely becoming better at sharing. Between you and your mom, my two loves are forcing me to think of others and, whether I actually want to or not, at least ask if they'd like to try some of whatever I'm having.

I'm also getting really good at sneaking in snacks when you're not looking.


Loving you always,

Tu papa

awa coco

Dear Chicken Nugget,

One of the beauties of toddler-hood is that you get to try out new sound combinations to make words. One of the miracles I get to experience as a father is watching you do this.

One of your first words was "agua," spanish for water. The way you say it, it sounds more like "awa." Not to be confused with "awawa," which is what you call your abuela.

Recently you discovered coconut water, one of your mom's favorites, and you'll see anything that resembles a coconut and call out "coco." The other day, in a conversation with your abuela, I heard you try to say, "agua de coco" by saying "awa coco."

At dinner a few days ago you remembered that we had picked up some coconut water at the store. After downing some broccoli, brown rice, water chestnuts, and baby corn, you thirstily looked up and said, "awa coco," and pointed towards the refrigerator. I filled up a sippy cup with "awa coco" which you chugged down rather quickly.

After refilling the cup you went back to work on dinner. Nowadays you tell us when you're done eating by giving us an all-done sign with your hands. After giving us your all-done sign you once again asked for "awa coco." Your abuela suggested that I fill up your sippy cup with regular water and just a tad of coconut water, to test out your taste buds.

With my back turned to you to block my deception, I pretended to pour in new coconut water into your sippy cup. You took it with a smile and started drinking happily. It took about two seconds for you to put down the cup and angrily call out, "awa!" You tasted it again. "Awa!"

Your abuela tried convincing you that it was "awa coco" but you would have none of it.

You shrugged your shoulders and continued drinking but would stop every now and then to point at your sippy cup and let us know that you were on to us. "Awa!" you kept repeating.

You're one smart Nugget and the ability to communicate with words and signs is making life so much easier and fun for all of us.


I love you and your words,

Tu papa

a different kind of writing

Dear Chicken Nugget,

My last letter to you was about six months ago. Since then a lot has happened in our lives: you turned one, you learned to walk, you began to talk, dear loved ones passed away, and your mom went back to graduate school full-time while continuing to help women bring their babies into this world.

My writing in the last six months has come to a complete stand-still, not because I have nothing left to say, in fact, I compose new letters in my head constantly, but because of you :).

Your mom and I have found that our computer time is very limited now that you can walk and talk. If I wanted to make time to sit at the computer to write a letter it would be in exchange for sleep - and most parents will agree that that's not a good trade-off.

Instead I've been watching you grow, I've been watching you learn and develop, and I've been providing the guidance you need to do it all safely. I figure it's a more active way of teaching you than writing letters.

Still, I will not give up on this little adventure completely. My hope is that I can still sit down occasionally to write a letter to you that is profound or at least funny.

In the meantime, I have started a different kind of writing, one that has you as an audience as well. I pulled out an old moleskine I had on my bookshelf and began putting together a sort of memoir (or, random thoughts by me centered around what I love the most - God, family and running). I imagine that writing in a notebook may be more productive than the kind needing the computer. We'll see how that works out.

If any of it goes public, it'll be found here. Otherwise, I'll make sure to leave this moleskine in my will to you.

There's a lot I want to tell you and teach you, Nugget, but there's only so many hours in the day. I'd rather spend those hours reading to you, jumping with you, and holding your hand. If an extra hour pops up, you'll find it in the form of an extra letter, an entry in the moleskin, or a happier well-rested papi.

 I love you more than I can write,

Tu papa

You survived your first earthquake

Dear Chicken Nugget,

Yesterday afternoon you were sitting on my lap, drinking milk from a bottle, when I felt the house sway.  This being New York City, I thought nothing of it, buses and trucks will make the house shake every day.  However, this made me feel a little dizzy.  I figured I must be hungry.

Minutes later I got a message from a co-worker that said, "Earthquake?"  I had no idea what she was talking about.  Then I put two and two together.  I turned on the television to reports that NYC had indeed just experienced part of an earthquake.

A 5.8 magnitude earthquake originating in Virgina was felt as far away as Canada.  What we felt was a 2.2.  Luckily it seems to have caused very little damage and no one was hurt. 

Still, it was your very first earthquake.  And you survived!

Your mom, by the way, was out helping a woman with a newborn baby and felt nothing.  She missed in our shared earthquake experience.  But that's ok, I don't think you noticed a thing. 

You finished the your bottle, watch the Mayor give a press conference, got bored by that, and started playing your ukulele.


Hoping all the earthquakes in your future are this easy,

Tu papa

Your mom is a better athlete...

Dear Chicken Nugget,

Yesterday, your mom and I complete the 3rd Annual Staten Island Triathlon. Your mom, by the way, is a better athlete than the average person, including me. There, I said it.

We once competed in a duathlon (run-bike-run) two years ago where she beat me by a couple of minutes. That same Fall I beat her in another duathlon (run-bike-run) by a couple of minutes. This triathlon (1/3 mile swim - 12 mile bike - 4 mile run) was our third head-to-head competition. And she crushed me.

we ate a healthy plate of rice, beans, and veggies for dinner the night before our race

We woke up really early to drive down to Staten Island with your Abuela Betty helping us with our equipment and keeping you entertained. Although I was nervous, there was very little time to be nervous now that we've got you. A lot of our focus is on your well-being and comfort so it's a good distraction from race-day nerves.

It feels like we barely got set up when they called us to head down to the beach. Now, the swim is my weakest sport. I learned to swim at the age of 25. Your mom was on the High School swim team. She was also a lifeguard. So, heading into the swim, I took it easy.

I was surprised by how great it felt to swim in the choppy ocean water. I was slow, with people passing me left and right, but I was swimming without having to stop; that's a victory for me. I came out of the water a full three minutes behind your mom.

Heading to the bike I pedaled as hard as I could. We biked a 4-mile loop three times, so I could see you mom ahead of me, but I could never catch up. I managed to make up some time on the bike but not nearly enough for what was about to happen.

I consider myself a runner so I was confident that I could make up some time on the 4-mile run. However, after swimming and biking for over and hour, your legs feel like tree trunks. And mine did. For about four miles. Your mom, on the other hand, said she felt great. She sped through the run leaving me gasping for air behind her.

Your mom finished in 1hr48min26sec and I finished in 1hr54min45sec, a full 6+ minutes behind her.

you joined us to celebrate the finish

So, your mom has beaten me in two of our three athletic competitions. Of course, this doesn't end here. While discussing our triathlon over dinner your mom said, confidently, that she could beat me in a road race - my sport!

So, on September 17th, we'll be facing off in a 4-mile race.

If you're smart, you'll put your money on your mom crossing the finish line before me. If you're lucky, you'll get her athletic genes.


Still running,

Tu papa

You are YouTube famous!

Dear Chicken Nugget,

You mom bought me a ukulele for my birthday a year ago since I had dropped lots of hints that I wanted to try and learn to play it.  Unfortunately, I have no musical talent and your mom had no training in string instruments so it just lay under our bed for over a year. 

A few months ago she discovered a ukulele class for parents and babies.  For four weeks she took you and the uke to Brooklyn, learned some chords, and even wrote a song for you called "Santiago's song."

You became instantly intrigued by the ukulele and always wanted to play with it.  The problem was, your mom was always practicing and you were messing up the tuning of the ukulele.  So, we ordered you your very own uke.  What happened next was beyond our expectations.

We figured it would act as a decoy for when your mom was practicing.  It turned out to be your favorite toy and a source of hours of entertainment for our family.  Between you, your mom, and I (I've finally learned some chords through your mom), we traded the two ukes endlessly, each having a go at a song or two.  In fact, one day we clocked almost four hours of ukulele playing time. 

We filmed one of your performances and put it up on YouTube to share with friends and family - an instant hit!



Our level of excitement for the ukulele hasn't diminished.  On some mornings you will crawl out of your bed and head straight for the ukulele to play for almost an hour.  And, because two ukes for three people doesn't entirely add up, we went ahead and got another one.  Now each of us has a uke. 

If some day you become a famous musician or even just pretty good at playing an instrument, you really need to thank your mom for taking those ukulele classes.  It really sparked an interest in all of us that we didn't know existed.  And, it's created the musical little monster we love to hear play and sing.


Enjoy,

tu papa

How to fuel a plant-based triathlete

Dear Chicken Nugget,

I shared the following with some friends who were asking how it was possible that your mom and I could train for a triathlon eating a plant-based diet.  There's a common misconception that plant-based diets lack protein.  But the reality is plants have lots of protein with the added benefit of lacking cholesterol.

Here's what I wrote:

I was sent a message last night asking how I could possibly do what I was doing on a plant-based diet, specifically how do I get enough protein.  My answer is pretty simple: eat lots and make most of what you eat whole grains, veggies, and fruit.  You will get more than enough of what you need if you eat a variety of plant foods.
Of course, I'm lucky, I have a wife who agrees with me nutritionally and together we make some incredible healthy dishes so there's never the temptation of watching her eat fried chicken with a side of fries.

Today in Week 2 of Triathlon training I woke up to swim for 30 minutes, after lunch I did five sets of pushups totaling 68, and tonight I ran for 40 minutes.  Plus somewhere in between all that I did some work, read the newspaper, took Santiago (that's you Nugget) on an hour and a half walk, and went to the dentist. Granted this is during my summer vacation, but during the school year I would pretty much be doing the same thing, minus the swimming.

So, pretty busy day, how to fuel it was the question:

Breakfast:
1 slice Whole Wheat Organic Bread with crunchy almond butter and a drizzle of honey
2 glasses of water

Went swimming (30 minutes)
Walked with Santiago in the stroller for an hour and a half

Breakfast 2:
Brooklyn Bagel Plain with a schmear of soy cream cheese
3 glasses of water

Work, Read the Paper

Lunch:
Big Bowl of Latin Corn Soup (sweet potato, tomatoes, corn, hominy, red pepper, chili pepper, onion, garlic)
Handful of Organic Corn tortillas
1 glass of water

Work, Pushups (68)

Snack:
1 glass of iskiate (water, lime juice, agave nectar, chia seeds)

Dentist

Dinner:
Cous Cous with Lentil Salad (lentils, onions, pepper)
Bibb lettuce, tomato, cucumber salad
1 glass of water

Santi's bath, bedtime books
40 min Run

Snack:
1 cup of Millet with Raisins
1 Banana
Handful of Walnuts
2 glasses of water

Total calories: about 2600
Total protein: about 75g of protein
Total cholesterol: 0
Plenty of fiber

Is my diet perfect?  No.  But, it's plant-based deliciousness, fuels my triathlon training, I'm never hungry, it keeps me healthy, and helps me lower my cholesterol.


I wanted to share this with you Nugget because you're the primary reason we're eating this way.  My body makes too much cholesterol and my family has a history of heart-disease, diabetes, and cancer.  I refuse to be a statistic.

I am plant-strong so that I can stay healthy enough to watch you grow up, God willing.


Loving you with a healthy heart,

Tu papa

Happy Birthday, Abuela!

Dear Chicken Nugget,

On July 13th we celebrated your Abuela's 71st Birthday.  She would kill me if she knew I was putting her age in a letter - she likes to tell people that she only celebrates the day of her birth not the number of years she has lived.

We went to a Spanish Tapas restaurant in Manhattan:

Abuela Betty and Santi

We followed that by heading to the Children's Museum of Manhattan:

And then, we surprised your Abuela by getting you a professional haircut, you very first!

Before

 

 

After

Your Abuela thought it was the best birthday she's had in a long time - all because you were a big part of it.


Thank you for making my mom's birthday the best,

Tu papa

What to do when you lose someone

Dear Nugget,

On Mother's Day this year I called my mom, your Abuela, to wish her a Happy Mother's Day.  She told me, with a cracking voice, that it wasn't a happy one - her sister had passed away.

My tia Chabela (Aunt Isabel in English) was my mom's oldest sister, mother of four, grandmother of four, incredibly wise, and really funny.  She had been fighting cancer, multiple myeloma, for over a year.

My first memory of her was on my first trip to Ecuador that I can remember (my very first trip was when I was one).  I was traveling alone and had been told to look for a lady that looked like my mom and my Aunt Bella combined.  I spotted her in the crowd at the airport and she gave me the big motherly hug I needed.

She was my Aunt, but like any of my aunts, she was a mom to me.  I spent many summers in Ecuador, living at her house, and have nothing but the fondest memories of her.

She never got to meet you but she saw you in pictures and I told her all about you on the phone.

Writing about a loved one you lose is hard and that's why it's been three months since I last wrote a letter.  It's hard to process a loss like that.  But, we've all been working through it.

Here are my recommendations to you for what to do when you lose someone you love:
- Pray.
- Look around you for support.  Friends and family will be there when you need them most.
- Whatever you feel is OK.  Let the feelings flow.  Feel them.
- Take as much time as you need to grieve.
- Live your life.  My grandmother Maria was known to have people rolling in laughter at funerals, telling funny stories of the deceased.  She knew that life went on.  Keep moving.
- Pray some more.

You will lose people, Nugget, and it will be the hardest thing you'll ever deal with in your life.  No matter what happens know that you are always loved and we are always with you (here and in the next world).

"And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age." - Jesus

Loving you, always,

Tu papa

Creating More Questions

Dear Chicken Nugget,

It's been a long week!  Somehow I managed to get sick at the end of the work week, just in time for our Spring break.  We're flying to Madison, WI this week to visit your Aunt Sara, Uncle Jerry, and Cousin Timothy this week.  Your Grandpa Dale and Grandma Sue will be there too.

I have a tendency to get sick right before vacations.  I have a feeling that it's because my body knows that I'm going to have time to rest so it pushes through and doesn't give in to the bug until the last minute.  Unfortunately, it ruins a couple of days of vacation for me.

I am looking forward to a few days of play time with you and your mom.  As you get older and become much more aware of your surroundings, it has been an incredible experience to show you new things.

For example . . . a box!  Yes, a cardboard box.  Your mom placed you in one the other day and you enjoyed it tremendously.  In fact, we now have a permanent cardboard box station in the kitchen for you to play in.

As we were learning about paper and boxes in kindergarten science, I decided to show my kindergarteners how you play in the box:

I recently started a Science Teacher blog called "Creating More Questions" for my students, their parents, and other science teachers.  My students love it!  They keep sending me emails about the website or asking questions about science via the website.  In fact, two students wrote a comment about you in the box, wondering how you got in there.  I'm using you to show them that kids (and some adults) learn best by playing. 

Nugget, you are a non-stop playing machine right now and you're learning so much.  I hope that by sharing your experience in a box we'll prompt another parent out there to put their kid in a box or prompt kids to build a fort out of the box or use the box as an imaginary boat.  The possibilities are endless, the learning is limitless, and the photos are priceless.


Thank you for helping me teach science,

Tu papa