Lent begins

Dear Chicken Nugget,

Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday and, therefore, marks the beginning of Lent.  Lent is the part of the church year when Christians prepare for Holy Week through prayer, penitence, almsgiving, and self-denial.

This period lasts 40 days, excluding Sundays which celebrate the Resurrection.  However, I tend to celebrate the Sundays of Lent by continuing on with my Lenten resolutions.  No days off.  

It's a rather serious-sounding season that I've come to really appreciate as an adult.  When I was young it was fun to see what you could give up for Lent and how long it would last: ice cream, soda, TV, etc.

As an adult, I think it's even more powerful than those New Year's Resolutions I like to make (by the way, I owe you $300 already).  I've come to use Lent to focus on my family, my health, and my faith.  Sure, I'll still give up "fun" things like television but I'll also do things that help me focus on what's really important.

This year my Lent list includes:
- No internet (on the phone or computer) while at home and you, Nugget, are awake - unless working under a tight deadline for work
- Eat a low-fat Pescatarian diet
- Do yoga or stretch every day
- Give thanks before every meal - we've grown accustomed to only doing so before dinner
- Complete the Sunday School Year-Long Curriculum

I'm sure that when I come home tomorrow you will be transfixed by the smudge of dust on my forehead.  On Ash Wednesday we are reminded that "you are dust, and unto dust you shall return." (Genesis 3:19)  It's an "in your face" reminder, literally, that we are mortal.

For me, it's a reminder that there is much to do in this world before it's my turn to go.  I hope a lot of that time is spent with you and your mom.  No days off.


Eternally yours,

Tu papa

sometimes bad things happen to good people

Dear Chicken Nugget,

I learned earlier this week of the passing of an old acquaintance who worked on a political campaign with me over nine years ago.

She was 38, married, had two kids, ages 6 and 3, and healthy.  She had a stroke and the doctors were unable to save her.  It has to be the saddest story I have heard in a while.

It's been quite some time, but I remember her having a great, positive personality.  She and her husband were wonderful activists, fighting on behalf of the rights of immigrant workers who were exploited in sweatshops.

Whenever I hear of a tragic story like this, it reminds me that we have very little time here on Earth and every minute is a true blessing.  I don't know why bad things happen to good people.  It's, seemingly, one of the most unfair aspects of human life.

About ten years ago I read a book called When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Rabbi Harold Kushner.  It was recommended to me by Rabbi Andrew Bachman, who, at the time, was director of the NYU Center for Jewish Student Life.

Rabbi Kushner does a great job examining the possibilities and reminds us that regardless of the tragedy or disaster, God is with us if we only look and listen.  The lines that have probably stuck with me the most are from the last few pages:

"Our responding to life's unfairness with sympathy and with righteous indignation, God's compassion and God's anger working through us, may be the surest proof of all of God's reality." (142)

"Religion alone can affirm the afflicted person's sense of self-worth. Science can describe what has happened to a person; only religion can call it a tragedy. Only the voice of religion, when it frees itself from the need to defend and justify God for all that happens, can say to the afflicted person, 'You are a good person, and you deserve better. Let me come and sit with you so that you will know that you are not alone.'" (143)

I'm sure folks will disagree with this assessment of science and religion.  But, I find Rabbi Kushner's words to ring true.  I see God in the world around me; not just the physical world, but also in human interaction.  I see God's action in the priest who consoles a mourner, in the friend lending a shoulder to cry on, in the community offering generous support to a family who lost their home, and in the restaurant owner who offers a bowl of soup to a homeless man on a chilly day.

God is indeed there.  But, since we do have such little time on this Earth, I have a list of everyday actions for you:

1) Tell your mom that you love her every time you talk to her.
2) Your dad too.
3) Actually, tell anyone and everyone you love that you love them as often as possible.
4) When you hug someone, hug as if you haven't seen them in years.
5) If there's an opportunity to do something nice for someone, do it.
6) If you feel the urge to dance, then dance; regardless of when or where.
7) Don't take yourself too seriously.  God loves you, yes, but He also wants you to lighten up and enjoy life.
8) Speaking of enjoying life, smile!
9) God gave us family and friends.  Remember them.
10) Give thanks every day for what you've been given.

I don't know how much time any of us has here on Earth.  But, I do know that I love you and your mom very much.  And I will always love you.


Eternally yours,

Tu papa

my a-ha moment with God

Dear Chicken Nugget,

Just last week I started teaching Young Family Sunday School at church.  Since our population of children is small and ages range from six weeks old to 10 years old, we decided to teach both the child and the parents together.  It's challenging but I pray that we're successful in growing the faith life of families.

As a starting point I had everyone draw on paper what God was to them.  There were pictures of crosses, hearts, train tracks (a three year old drew that one), and a mountain (that was mine).

When it was my turn to explain my drawing I told everyone about my "a-ha" moment with God:

As a child I went to church with my family but sometime around the age of 13 science became my basis for the world.  Everything in the world could be explained through science.

Then, the summer after my Freshman year of college, some old high school friends and I went white water rafting in North Creek, NY.  We drove up there in a ridiculous storm that gave drivers inches of visibility and we crammed eight college kids into a motel room.

The rafting itself was lots of fun with plenty of bumps and people flying out of the boat.  At the end of the trip down the river we came to this calm place where, after some hard paddling work, we could lay back and enjoy the view.

Hudson River, North Creek, NY, photographed by D.R. March

As we floated down the river I took in the amazing view around us: the tall trees, mountains, birds circling overhead, and friends smiling ear to ear.

Suddenly I had my "a-ha" moment.  Somehow all of this, the people, the trees, the mountains, were all there for a reason.  And the reason was . . . God?  It wasn't easy to change my "scientific" rational mind to a God-based reality, but it happened.  And, it started happening in that moment.

After that experience I found myself seeking out the Newman Club at NYU (the undergraduate Catholic club) and quickly became active in the Catholic Center at NYU.  And now, eleven years later, I'm teaching Young Family Sunday School.

It's hard to explain what I saw and felt that day.  But, I hope that someday you'll be able to see a mountain and see God the way I did.

Eternally yours,

Tu papa