What to do when you lose someone

Dear Nugget,

On Mother's Day this year I called my mom, your Abuela, to wish her a Happy Mother's Day.  She told me, with a cracking voice, that it wasn't a happy one - her sister had passed away.

My tia Chabela (Aunt Isabel in English) was my mom's oldest sister, mother of four, grandmother of four, incredibly wise, and really funny.  She had been fighting cancer, multiple myeloma, for over a year.

My first memory of her was on my first trip to Ecuador that I can remember (my very first trip was when I was one).  I was traveling alone and had been told to look for a lady that looked like my mom and my Aunt Bella combined.  I spotted her in the crowd at the airport and she gave me the big motherly hug I needed.

She was my Aunt, but like any of my aunts, she was a mom to me.  I spent many summers in Ecuador, living at her house, and have nothing but the fondest memories of her.

She never got to meet you but she saw you in pictures and I told her all about you on the phone.

Writing about a loved one you lose is hard and that's why it's been three months since I last wrote a letter.  It's hard to process a loss like that.  But, we've all been working through it.

Here are my recommendations to you for what to do when you lose someone you love:
- Pray.
- Look around you for support.  Friends and family will be there when you need them most.
- Whatever you feel is OK.  Let the feelings flow.  Feel them.
- Take as much time as you need to grieve.
- Live your life.  My grandmother Maria was known to have people rolling in laughter at funerals, telling funny stories of the deceased.  She knew that life went on.  Keep moving.
- Pray some more.

You will lose people, Nugget, and it will be the hardest thing you'll ever deal with in your life.  No matter what happens know that you are always loved and we are always with you (here and in the next world).

"And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age." - Jesus

Loving you, always,

Tu papa