Giving up Facebook for Advent. Sort of.

Dear Chicken Nugget,

As I write there are 500 million people in the world that are using something called Facebook.  It's a social network website that allows users to connect with one another around world.  It's also a great time-suck.

It's been absolutely wonderful to connect to old classmates that I lost touch with, be able to communicate with relatives in Ecuador, and let people know that something funny just happened.

But, checking in on others can take up time - especially if you end up checking in twice a day like I usually do.

So inspired by friends and family, I'm giving up Facebook for Advent.  Sort of.

First, your great uncle Barry, a pastor in Texarkana, TX, posted on a blog that we should try to read the books of the Bible in order.  I've already done that twice before and I've learned so much each time so I figured that's something I should do some day soon.

Then a friend from my running club, you may remember him as the guy in the chicken costume on Marathon Sunday, posted that he was going to give up Facebook for the rest of 2010; just as a challenge to himself.

Finally, as I was reading up on Advent I learned that people used to treat Advent much like they did Lent - they would fast to prepare for the birth of Jesus.  Although I'm not going to fast this Advent, I decided I could instead refrain from Facebook somehow.

So the end result is this:

I will read the books of the Bible in order and only check in on Facebook when I complete a full book of the Bible.  

Something you'll learn about me is that I set up challenges for myself just to see if I have the willpower to do them (like marathons, for example).  I find it's good practice to challenge yourself this way; it lets you know that you are stronger than you think you are.

Of course, I thought my Advent challenge was going to be easier.  Somehow I forgot that the first time I read the Bible straight through it took me two months.  Oh, and I also forgot to calculate the number of times I would be interrupted in my reading by you, Nugget.

had we picked a name out of Genesis you might have been named Gether or Nimrod

Not that I'm complaining.  Reading it in smaller bits has allowed me to meditate on smaller events.  But still, after Day 2 I'm on page 20 of 1,034 and just halfway done with Genesis.

So, I don't think I'm anywhere near on pace to complete the Bible by Christmas or New Year's Day for that matter.  No, this challenge might take me straight into Lent.  And by the time I get there, since it's Lent, I might as well set up a new challenge...


Eternally yours,

Tu papa

a mini High School reunion

Dear Chicken Nugget,

Today we got together with some of my old High School buddies.  Lots has changed!

Leonid was one of the first people I met in the seventh grade.

the restaurant was warm so we let you show off your chest hair

But now Leonid is a doctor and has his own baby!

Leonid and his six-month old boy Finny

You loved hanging out with my old high school friends and made sure everyone knew to hold you out so you could be a part of the conversation.

Meryl, Nugget, Adam, & Tom

Meryl was one of the first people I met in High School and is now a Veterinarian.  Adam, like Leo, went to Junior High and High School with me and is now a lawyer in Washington, DC for the US government.  And Tom is an old friend from High School who uses his degree in Finance to help people navigate the insurance world and does some acting on the side.

Beth holding a sleepy Nugget

Our friend Beth was a friend of a friend in high school and didn't technically go to high school with us but no one really remembers that.  She hung out with us so often we pretty much thought she went to school with us.  Beth was an animal behaviorist and now studies human behavior for marketing. 

We had a really good time catching up with one another, trading baby stories, and making plans to get together again.

I hope that when you get to high school you get a chance to make friends with a bunch like mine.  We spent a lot of time with one another, through the ups and downs that are a sure part of teenage life, but my memories of them are overwhelmed with laughter. 

We had a good time and continue to do so.

Eternally yours,

Tu papa

Happy First Thanksgiving!

Dear Chicken Nugget,

Today we celebrated your first Thanksgiving.  There is so much to be thankful for!

I give thanks to God for all He provides - family, friends, health, career - but this year I am especially grateful for the gift of you.  Pastor Paul at our church likes to tell new parents that their babies are not theirs but on loan from God.  We are all God's children and parents are chosen to help raise one of God's children.  No pressure, he likes to add.

Well, we're so eternally grateful for the gift of you and so is your entire family.  This year we went to your Grandma Betty's home to celebrate Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving in an Ecuadorian household is a little different from Thanksgiving in your typical American home, but some things are still the same: turkey, cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes, and dessert.  But, there's also the Ecuadorian staples: white rice, Ecuadorian stuffing, and Russian salad (I know, I said Ecuadorian, but that's what they call it).

But, of course, the highlight of Thanksgiving this year was you!  The family enjoyed playing with you, dancing with you, singing to you, and cuddling with you.

You seemed to love the attention and were in awe of the turkey...

...then you tried to make a grab for it...

... but you were caught red-handed.

Overall it was a great Thanksgiving.  We're already looking forward to next year when you can actually take a bite out of that turkey leg.


Until then, eternally yours,

Tu papa

the sins of your parents

Dear Chicken Nugget,

It's been 12 days since my last letter and you've grown so much.  You've been laughing and playing and trying to grab hanging toys.  You've discovered your hands and are constantly playing with them.

I haven't been able to sit down and write much because of work-related activities.  I love what I do but sometimes it takes up a lot of mental energy; not the kids, the adults - more on that another day.

But, today I want to apologize in advance for the fashion sins of your parents.  Your mom and I are pretty laid back people and our philosophy on dressing you as been just as relaxed.  The way we figure it, babies don't care what they look like.  Right?

Well, in case you do some day and it seems you just can't get it right, it's probably our fault.

This is what happens when papi dresses you...

your mom would like to point out the overall shorts & yellow socks

This is what happens when mommy tries to fix it...

I'm just going to point out that you've got polka dots on your white pants

It's obvious that your mom and I differ in opinion on what you should wear.  I don't think either of us are too far off the mark but I also don't think we're cultivating any form of good fashion sense. 

Luckily, I do think you're too young to care at this point.  Someday you'll care.  Until then, God help you.


Eternally yours,

Tu papi

the NYC Marathon and me

Dear Chicken Nugget,

Ever since I was little I've been a fan of the NYC Marathon.  My Aunt Bella and I would wake up on Marathon Sunday and start watching the coverage on TV and start making fake bets on who would win that year.

For a few years we lived on Fourth Avenue in Brooklyn, right along the route.  We'd watch the elite runners approach on TV and then hit the street to watch and cheer them on live.  Then, as the morning progressed and a speedy few became a thundering thousand, I'd go out there to high five as many runners as we could. 

I started dreaming of running the NYC Marathon in my early 20s, before I could even run a mile, but haven't had my chance yet.  Lack of luck with the entry lottery and injury has prevented me from joining the 40+ thousand people running the NYC Marathon every year.   

sleepy Nugget on his way to cheer

 Although I've run marathons in New Jersey and Maryland, the dream of running the NYC Marathon is still alive and thriving.  This year, at just 2 months old, we took you to Manhattan to cheer for the thousands of runners in the Marathon.  You slept through all the noise but I was inspired by it.

little Nugget sleeps in the baby carrier while dad cheers along with a teammate - yes, a chicken

Seeing all those people enjoying my city and pushing themselves to the limit makes me want to get out there and join them.  As they say in sports, especially when you're a Mets fan like me, "There's always next year"  . . . and the year after that.

If weather permits, I can't imagine a better motivator than seeing you and your mom cheering me on.  Then maybe, some day, we'll run a marathon together.  


Eternally yours,

Tu papa

the sleep routine

Dear Chicken Nugget,

Today you are two months old!  It's been incredible having you in our lives and we look forward to so much more time with you.

You're growing physically and are becoming more aware by the hour.  You love hearing the vowels in Spanish and laugh when I howl like a wolf.

loving listening to the vowels in Spanish

And, you love it when your dad puts you to sleep.  You've been a really good sleeper, by the way.  When you're tired you'll fall asleep in a baby carrier, in the swing, on the changing table, and while feeding.  You've actually been sleeping through most of the night - waking up to eat once or twice but falling immediately back to sleep when done.

But late evening when you hit that over-tired point your mom and I go into the sleep routine.  While she goes off to get ready for bed, I get you ready for bed.  What started as an hour long routine is now usually done in 15-20 minutes.   It involves some walking, some white noise provided by the kitchen fan, and even some singing.

Now, while I won't promote my singing in any way, it seems that it helps you go to sleep.  I have two theories for this: my droning monotone has a hypnotic effect or you essentially give up because sleep is the fastest way to get out of hearing me sing.

So far I've used a number of songs to help lull you to sleep (in no particular order):

How's It Going To Be by Third Eye Blind
Lean On Me by Bill Withers
Stand By Me by Ben E. King
The Way You Look Tonight by Frank Sinatra
Motorcycle Drive By by Third Eye Blind
Amazing Grace by John Newton
Hound Dog by Elvis Presley
That's Life by Frank Sinatra
Donna by Ritchie Valens

Tonight, the song that made you pass out was Fly Me To The Moon by Frank Sinatra.

Somehow these songs work.  Then again, considering my monotone voice, they might all just sound the same and I'm simply boring you to sleep.  In any case, it works.

When it comes time for you to learn to sing I'm definitely handing the reigns over to your mom.  She comes from a clan of musicians and singers.

In the meantime, I'll continue to help you fall asleep for the night.  It's my pleasure to sing my baby boy to sleep.


Eternally yours,

Tu papa

When Dad Blog Babies Meet

Dear Chicken Nugget,

Today you are eight weeks old!  And, though your weight has leveled off at around 11-12 pounds, you still seem to be growing every day.  Recently you've been more alert, really curious about the world around you, and making wonderful cooing sounds.

Some friends from Birthing Class came over to meet you tonight.  Kevin and Reba had their baby girl Rosalie just three days before you arrived.  Kevin is actually documenting Rosalie's early days on NewAstoriaDad.  So, tonight was a sort of meeting of the blog babies.

Kevin holding Chicken Nugget and Reba holding Rosalie

Rosalie is very cute, with hints of strawberry blond hair, and bright blue eyes.  The two of you, however, didn't spend much time with each other - you were too busy showing Kevin and Reba what a fussy baby boy looks like and Rosalie was busy showing us what a peaceful baby girl is like.

We discussed, among other things, boy energy versus girl energy.  So far, every little baby girl we've met is always so calm and relaxed.

your mom was amazed at how mellow Rosalie was

Not our Nugget!  Our little baby boy has boy energy and constantly wants to be entertained and kept moving.  That is, of course, until Reba held you...  then you chilled out and eventually fell asleep in her arms.

Santiago and Reba

Which makes me wonder if you have a thing for blonds.  Just last week our friend Emily dropped by to say hello and you were as happy as can be.

Santi likes blonds

Hmmm.  I think I'm on to something.

Your secret is safe with me, buddy. 


Eternally yours,

Tu papa

Your first Halloween

Dear Chicken Nugget,


Your cousin Timothy and your aunt Sara came to visit from Madison, Wisconsin and meet you for the first time.  They were here for a few days, helped a ton by making us some wonderful meals, and gave us a glimpse of what our lives would be like with two babies.

chaos!

The absolute best part was celebrating Halloween.  Your cousin Timothy dressed up as Tigger and played the part really well.

Timothy as Tigger.

You were Superman for your first Halloween.  Your mom and I decided to milk your costume as much as possible.  We've had you wear your costume at least three days now and may continue to put you in it a few more days. 

Dad as Clark Kent and Chicken Nugget as Superman.

It was wonderful having your Aunt Sara and Cousin Timothy here with us.  We miss them already.  But, the fun continues.  Guess what you're wearing to church...

Oh yes

Eternally yours,

Tu papa

sometimes bad things happen to good people

Dear Chicken Nugget,

I learned earlier this week of the passing of an old acquaintance who worked on a political campaign with me over nine years ago.

She was 38, married, had two kids, ages 6 and 3, and healthy.  She had a stroke and the doctors were unable to save her.  It has to be the saddest story I have heard in a while.

It's been quite some time, but I remember her having a great, positive personality.  She and her husband were wonderful activists, fighting on behalf of the rights of immigrant workers who were exploited in sweatshops.

Whenever I hear of a tragic story like this, it reminds me that we have very little time here on Earth and every minute is a true blessing.  I don't know why bad things happen to good people.  It's, seemingly, one of the most unfair aspects of human life.

About ten years ago I read a book called When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Rabbi Harold Kushner.  It was recommended to me by Rabbi Andrew Bachman, who, at the time, was director of the NYU Center for Jewish Student Life.

Rabbi Kushner does a great job examining the possibilities and reminds us that regardless of the tragedy or disaster, God is with us if we only look and listen.  The lines that have probably stuck with me the most are from the last few pages:

"Our responding to life's unfairness with sympathy and with righteous indignation, God's compassion and God's anger working through us, may be the surest proof of all of God's reality." (142)

"Religion alone can affirm the afflicted person's sense of self-worth. Science can describe what has happened to a person; only religion can call it a tragedy. Only the voice of religion, when it frees itself from the need to defend and justify God for all that happens, can say to the afflicted person, 'You are a good person, and you deserve better. Let me come and sit with you so that you will know that you are not alone.'" (143)

I'm sure folks will disagree with this assessment of science and religion.  But, I find Rabbi Kushner's words to ring true.  I see God in the world around me; not just the physical world, but also in human interaction.  I see God's action in the priest who consoles a mourner, in the friend lending a shoulder to cry on, in the community offering generous support to a family who lost their home, and in the restaurant owner who offers a bowl of soup to a homeless man on a chilly day.

God is indeed there.  But, since we do have such little time on this Earth, I have a list of everyday actions for you:

1) Tell your mom that you love her every time you talk to her.
2) Your dad too.
3) Actually, tell anyone and everyone you love that you love them as often as possible.
4) When you hug someone, hug as if you haven't seen them in years.
5) If there's an opportunity to do something nice for someone, do it.
6) If you feel the urge to dance, then dance; regardless of when or where.
7) Don't take yourself too seriously.  God loves you, yes, but He also wants you to lighten up and enjoy life.
8) Speaking of enjoying life, smile!
9) God gave us family and friends.  Remember them.
10) Give thanks every day for what you've been given.

I don't know how much time any of us has here on Earth.  But, I do know that I love you and your mom very much.  And I will always love you.


Eternally yours,

Tu papa

a song for you

Dear Chicken Nugget,

I found myself singing a song to you yesterday as I carried you around the apartment and realized that it's something that's been stuck in my head for a few days.

The song has no title, though it's yours.  Your mom started singing it to you when you were in the belly.  She made up the lyrics and melody herself.

The chorus says something like:

Oh you're my baby boo,
And I love you.
I'm gonna love you forever,
Oh you're my baby boo,
And I love you.
I'm gonna love you forever.

At some point I'd like to record her singing it to you. 

It reminds me of a song I love by a band that no longer exists.  Shea was recorded, written, and performed by a band called Cecilia.  They were a family band made up of a mom, dad, son, two daughters and a bass player.  I met them for the first time in Washington Square Park while on a lunch break in college.  Their sound was refreshing and their lyrics were inspiring.

Cecilia the band

When I became a teacher, I would go to their gigs every Friday night, wherever they were playing.  It was my way of de-stressing after a long week.  At one of their gigs, your Uncle Bob and I ended up befriending the fiancee of the lead guitarist/son in the family.  It turns out her daughter, Shea, was the little girl they were singing about in the song.  She was a beautiful little four year old at the time and I kept thinking, how cool to have a song written about you?  It immortalizes you.



Well, when the bassist left, who, by the way, is currently engaged to my friend Cora, the band became The Veltz Family.  They played on and wrote more beautiful music but eventually went their separate ways to work on individual projects.

Your mom, our friend Javiera, and I went to see one of the daughters of the family, Allison, play in Manhattan when your mom was eight months pregnant with you.  The voice and style are still there.  The music lives on.  And, for one night, I was transported back in time.

Allison Veltz

It's been years now.  The beautiful little blond girl from the song Shea is now 12 and going to school dances and I am now a parent singing to my very own child. 

Perhaps one day, when we're feeling creative, we'll work on expanding the lyrics to your song, working on the melody, and actually turning it into a full-length song.  It probably won't even come close to what Cecilia was able to put together back in the day, but at least you'll be able to say, like Shea, that you have your own song.

Eternally yours,


Tu papa

my a-ha moment with God

Dear Chicken Nugget,

Just last week I started teaching Young Family Sunday School at church.  Since our population of children is small and ages range from six weeks old to 10 years old, we decided to teach both the child and the parents together.  It's challenging but I pray that we're successful in growing the faith life of families.

As a starting point I had everyone draw on paper what God was to them.  There were pictures of crosses, hearts, train tracks (a three year old drew that one), and a mountain (that was mine).

When it was my turn to explain my drawing I told everyone about my "a-ha" moment with God:

As a child I went to church with my family but sometime around the age of 13 science became my basis for the world.  Everything in the world could be explained through science.

Then, the summer after my Freshman year of college, some old high school friends and I went white water rafting in North Creek, NY.  We drove up there in a ridiculous storm that gave drivers inches of visibility and we crammed eight college kids into a motel room.

The rafting itself was lots of fun with plenty of bumps and people flying out of the boat.  At the end of the trip down the river we came to this calm place where, after some hard paddling work, we could lay back and enjoy the view.

Hudson River, North Creek, NY, photographed by D.R. March

As we floated down the river I took in the amazing view around us: the tall trees, mountains, birds circling overhead, and friends smiling ear to ear.

Suddenly I had my "a-ha" moment.  Somehow all of this, the people, the trees, the mountains, were all there for a reason.  And the reason was . . . God?  It wasn't easy to change my "scientific" rational mind to a God-based reality, but it happened.  And, it started happening in that moment.

After that experience I found myself seeking out the Newman Club at NYU (the undergraduate Catholic club) and quickly became active in the Catholic Center at NYU.  And now, eleven years later, I'm teaching Young Family Sunday School.

It's hard to explain what I saw and felt that day.  But, I hope that someday you'll be able to see a mountain and see God the way I did.

Eternally yours,

Tu papa

you have me wordless you chubness monster!

Dear Chicken Nugget,

I have to admit that I've gotten very little work done at home since you joined us almost seven weeks ago.

I'll start things - like lesson planning, writing letters, reading articles - and not finish them until 12 hours later.  Something that could take me 30 minutes will take a total of 12 hours from start to finish.

For one thing, you're requiring a lot of attention.  A lot.  I am more than happy to pay close attention to you.  I would much rather stare at you than have to figure out how make the texture of a rock exciting to a second grader.

Most of the attention you require is based around food.  You've continued to eat like a champ and put on weight like a sumo wrestler.  At 6 1/2 weeks we weighted you at 12lbs.  That's double your birth weight in less than seven weeks!  Luckily your mom is the provider of the food but that doesn't mean I'm jobless.  While momma takes care of you, I have to take care of the momma.

Even when you're not demanding attention I find myself struggling to find the words I need to complete my work.  Instead, I end up in wordless awe of the miracle that is you.  No words.  Just thoughts of you.

Speaking of which, I'm going to go stare at you while you sleep.

Te quiero siempre,

Tu papa