sometimes bad things happen to good people

Dear Chicken Nugget,

I learned earlier this week of the passing of an old acquaintance who worked on a political campaign with me over nine years ago.

She was 38, married, had two kids, ages 6 and 3, and healthy.  She had a stroke and the doctors were unable to save her.  It has to be the saddest story I have heard in a while.

It's been quite some time, but I remember her having a great, positive personality.  She and her husband were wonderful activists, fighting on behalf of the rights of immigrant workers who were exploited in sweatshops.

Whenever I hear of a tragic story like this, it reminds me that we have very little time here on Earth and every minute is a true blessing.  I don't know why bad things happen to good people.  It's, seemingly, one of the most unfair aspects of human life.

About ten years ago I read a book called When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Rabbi Harold Kushner.  It was recommended to me by Rabbi Andrew Bachman, who, at the time, was director of the NYU Center for Jewish Student Life.

Rabbi Kushner does a great job examining the possibilities and reminds us that regardless of the tragedy or disaster, God is with us if we only look and listen.  The lines that have probably stuck with me the most are from the last few pages:

"Our responding to life's unfairness with sympathy and with righteous indignation, God's compassion and God's anger working through us, may be the surest proof of all of God's reality." (142)

"Religion alone can affirm the afflicted person's sense of self-worth. Science can describe what has happened to a person; only religion can call it a tragedy. Only the voice of religion, when it frees itself from the need to defend and justify God for all that happens, can say to the afflicted person, 'You are a good person, and you deserve better. Let me come and sit with you so that you will know that you are not alone.'" (143)

I'm sure folks will disagree with this assessment of science and religion.  But, I find Rabbi Kushner's words to ring true.  I see God in the world around me; not just the physical world, but also in human interaction.  I see God's action in the priest who consoles a mourner, in the friend lending a shoulder to cry on, in the community offering generous support to a family who lost their home, and in the restaurant owner who offers a bowl of soup to a homeless man on a chilly day.

God is indeed there.  But, since we do have such little time on this Earth, I have a list of everyday actions for you:

1) Tell your mom that you love her every time you talk to her.
2) Your dad too.
3) Actually, tell anyone and everyone you love that you love them as often as possible.
4) When you hug someone, hug as if you haven't seen them in years.
5) If there's an opportunity to do something nice for someone, do it.
6) If you feel the urge to dance, then dance; regardless of when or where.
7) Don't take yourself too seriously.  God loves you, yes, but He also wants you to lighten up and enjoy life.
8) Speaking of enjoying life, smile!
9) God gave us family and friends.  Remember them.
10) Give thanks every day for what you've been given.

I don't know how much time any of us has here on Earth.  But, I do know that I love you and your mom very much.  And I will always love you.


Eternally yours,

Tu papa